


It's Not a Secret (Tomo)

by Rahenna



Series: Becoming Suzubishi [18]
Category: Gakuen Heaven 2 ~Double Scramble~
Genre: Best Friends, M/M, Secret Relationship, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 10:55:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13950099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rahenna/pseuds/Rahenna
Summary: Tomo confronts Yuki about his relationship with Professor Sakaki.





	It's Not a Secret (Tomo)

**Author's Note:**

> Contains spoilers for Gakuen Heaven 2. If you intend to play the game yourself, reading this may ruin your fun a bit. :)
> 
> If you want to know more about the Gakuen Heaven series, please visit my fansite for game translations and summaries:  
> [welcome to Heaven](http://heaven.neo-romance.net/)

**Tuesday, May 22, 2018**

Yuki was in _serious_ trouble.

Not in any sort of official way, of course. That would have been a disaster for both him and Professor Sakaki. No, Yuki was in serious trouble with _me_.

I took a deep breath to calm myself - which didn't work - and knocked on his sliding door. Almost instantly, I heard the creak of the bed as Yuki got up, followed by the patter of his feet on the floor and the click of the lock. My heart skipped a beat as the door slid open to reveal Yuki's smiling face. "Tomo! I thought you had track practice after the board meeting today. I hope you don't mind that I went ahead to dinner without you..."

"Oh, yeah. I was tired after the meeting, so I skipped track practice." Well, that much was true. Yuki definitely had no idea that I'd passed out on the boardroom table.

"So you didn't eat yet?"

My stomach was way too tied up in knots for any food to be appealing. "Um, not yet..."

"Aren't you hungry? I'll go to the cafeteria with you!" Yuki's eyes lit up at the prospect of eating a second dinner. "Here, come in! I'll just put my socks on and we can go."

Normally, Yuki's cheery attitude and enthusiasm would make me smile no matter how bad my day had been, but right now, all I could think of was the way he'd begged in the assistant director's office. How could he be so carefree after doing something so wrong? Didn't he have any clue how risky that was? My back stiffened as a surge of irritation made me grit my teeth, and I grabbed Yuki's shoulder as he turned his back to go look for fresh socks. "We're not going anywhere."

Yuki tensed under my hand, and when he glanced back at me, he looked confused and worried. "Um, Tomo? What's wrong?"

_Everything. Everything's wrong, you idiot._

I pointed to his desk chair. "Sit down. We need to talk."

Yuki obediently sat down, shoulders slightly hunched and hands folded in his lap like a schoolkid who knew he'd done something wrong but didn't quite understand what. I sat down on the edge of his bed, facing him. For a few moments, I couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes. What was I going to say? How could I make him understand just how stupid and dangerous his actions were? Or how lucky he was that I happened to be the one who'd overheard?

Overthinking it wasn't going to help. I looked up and met Yuki's eyes. He looked confused and a little worried. Good. I swallowed the lump in my throat and willed my heart to stop racing, and somehow my voice was steady when I spoke. "What were you doing in Professor Sakaki's office this afternoon? I don't remember him saying he needed to meet with you after the board meeting."

Yuki fidgeted, avoiding my eyes. "Um... Well, if I have other student council work to do around there, I'll stop in and say hi sometimes..."

I swear my eye twitched. Did that mean it wasn't the first time Yuki had begged to do something like that at school? Had he been successful in wearing the professor down before? No, that wasn't true, Professor Sakaki had clearly said no before, which was exactly why Yuki had been so persistent.

"You have a weird way of saying hi, then."

Yuki's eyes were really wide, even though he was still avoiding my face. "I... um, I don't know what you mean, Tomo."

Dancing around the point was only going to make things more awkward for me. I leaned forward, catching Yuki's eye when he glanced up at the creak of the bed. "Really? Because if I'd been begging to blow a teacher in his office, I don't think I'd forget that so easily."

All sorts of emotions danced across Yuki's face in an instant: surprise, shock, guilt, dread. His lips moved a little, but he couldn't say anything.

Fine, because I had plenty to say. "I don't even know where to begin. What the hell, Yuki? What were you thinking? You had no idea I was still in the boardroom or that the door between the boardroom and the professor's office was open a little! What if it had been someone else? And how many times have you done something that stupid at school? And that's not even getting into the _real_ problem, which is that your 'older boyfriend' isn't some university student like you've let me believe, it's Professor Sakaki!"

I bit my lip, not because I wanted to stop yelling at him, but because my voice was getting too loud. After what Yuki had done today, I wasn't going to be the one who screwed up and revealed his secret to the world by screaming my head off. My nails dug into my palms as I glared at him, silently daring him to try and justify all of his bad decisions.

Yuki looked like he was about to cry. "Tomo... that was the first time, I swear..."

I swallowed hard, trying to keep my voice from shaking. "It only takes one mistake to ruin both of your lives, Yuki." My voice was unnaturally calm, heavy with that dullness that only came when you were too full of emotions to express any one of them clearly. "What if one of the other board members had been in there? Your reputation would probably be shot, but what about the professor? He's an adult and a teacher, the teacher in charge of this entire school. Did you ever stop to think about what could happen to him? He wouldn't just get fired, he'd be hauled off to prison! It would be all over the news, those kinds of sensational stories are exactly the kind of thing that the media loves to latch on to and milk for all they're worth! He's not some nobody, he's a Sakaki!"

No good. I couldn't keep my voice down. I stared down at the floor, gritting my teeth. Damn it! How could they do something so stupid?!

"I, I know." Yuki's voice was small and trembling. "That's why we're always so careful--"

"You weren't careful!" I snapped. "What about that was careful? If it wasn't for your magical good luck, you'd both be totally screwed right now!"

"I'm sorry, I just... I know I messed up, but the professor was going away for a while and I wasn't thinking about anything except how I was going to miss him." Yuki's hands twisted in his lap. "I swear, we've never done anything at school before. I promise I won't ever try it again."

"Agh." I clasped my head in my hands. "That's not the problem. You can't just say you're sorry and wave a magic wand and make everything okay, Yuki. You're sleeping with a teacher. He's way older than you. It's kind of..."

"It's gross, isn't it?" Yuki's tone was dull. "You think I'm gross."

I glanced up. Of course he was teary-eyed. But that didn't excuse him from taking responsibility for his actions, or from having to hear the truth from me. "Honestly, I think you're _both_ kind of gross."

Yuki gasped, and I felt a little guilty for being so blunt, but I held up my hands and motioned for him to be quiet. "Wait, let me finish, okay? It's not what you think. Listen, I get that Professor Sakaki's a good guy, and I even get why you'd find him attractive. You can't leave someone alone if you know they're hurting - trust me, I know that better than anyone. And I also know that the professor has some heavy stuff in his past, with his family and everything like that. He's exactly the kind of person you'd be drawn to, someone who's hurt and withdrawn but secretly wants to get stronger and escape from the crap that's holding him back. I get it."

I paused to take a breath and gather my thoughts. Yuki looked like he wanted to say something, but he bit his lip and waited for me to continue.

"I get it, Yuki, but that's because I know both of you personally. But if anyone else found out about it, they'd only see that he's a teacher and you're his student, that he's like ten years older than you, and they'd immediately think he's taking advantage of you. If you tried to protest and say everything was fine, that you're in love and he's good to you, they'd just say you're delusional and defending him is proof that he's brainwashed you or something. There's no way you could make someone else believe that you're not getting hurt." A sudden thought left me cold. "Yuki, what about your parents? They don't know, right?"

He shook his head. "Not yet. But we're going to tell them as soon as we can, right after I graduate."

"They're going to freak out."

Yuki made a face. "You don't know that. Even if they do, I'm sure they'll understand why we had to wait..."

"That's another thing. Waiting. Why didn't you wait?"

"Huh, wait?"

Ugh, did I really have to say it? My cheeks were getting warm just thinking about it. "If you two realized you were in love, you didn't have to jump right into having sex, right? You could have waited until after you graduated so it wouldn't be a problem. I mean... it happened pretty soon after the Bell One, which means you two didn't really have a lot of time to get to know each other. And you had to have realized that it was going to be a serious problem if you were found out. So why did you rush into it instead of just, I dunno, innocently dating or whatever?"

"Oh, um..." Yuki lowered his eyes. "I kind of... didn't think about that at the time. Any of it, really. I was happy and excited because he felt the same way about me, so we just... I mean, it felt natural and like it was the right thing to do. I never thought about waiting, and even if I did think of it, I wouldn't want to, so..."

"But you _had_ to know it was wrong. There's no way you didn't know that."

"It wasn't wrong!" Yuki glared at me, suddenly fierce. "Maybe it was stupid or selfish or a bad idea, but I'm never going to say it was _wrong_. I love him, and he loves me, and no one's getting hurt or used or whatever. Even you said that the professor has changed a lot recently, like he's becoming a better person, so why are you suddenly angry just because I'm the one who's helping him?"

"Because I'm scared!" I snapped. "Because you're my best friend and my brother, and the professor is the only one who understands the crap I've been through, and I could lose you _both_ if something goes wrong! One little mistake and it's over! You never stopped to think about that!"

Damnit, why was I yelling at Yuki? That wasn't going to fix anything.

Even worse, why was I getting all choked up?

I covered my face with my hands, but it was too late. Yuki had definitely seen me crumble. He was at my side in an instant, the bed creaking and shifting under his weight as he sat down and hugged me close. It made me tense up. I didn't want to be the jerk who was accusing my best friend of being weak and selfish in a pathetic attempt to cover up that I was the weak and selfish one. 

I especially didn't want to admit that deep down, I was upset that Yuki had been swept away by someone I could never hope to compete with, smart and sophisticated, with the added advantage of years of experience.

_You can't compete. You could never compete._

That ugly voice at the back of my mind had been quiet for a long time, so quiet that I'd started to suspect that it had finally gone. Over the past few months, Yuki had shared so much with me, open and honest like always. Probably too honest, with his chatter about the joys of sex and intimacy and how exciting it was the first time he topped his older boyfriend... ugh. It was too much information, but I hadn't minded all that much, happy that my best friend felt safe enough to discuss all sorts of things with me. So why was all that cheerfully shared information suddenly tying my gut in knots? Yuki was happy, and I'd been happy for him. That shouldn't change just because his boyfriend was someone unexpected. Someone I knew.

But it wasn't just the lingering attraction. There was a healthy dose of unselfish worry at the heart of it - or was it? Was I only concerned about what might happen to Professor Sakaki because I was dependent on his experience and advice? Because he understood what it was like to have a shitty family that only saw you as a cog in a machine?

Did I actually care about him as an individual? Did I even _know_ him as an individual?

"Yuki... I'm really sorry..."

He shook his head against my shoulder, and dampness soaked into the fabric of my t-shirt. "Don't apologize, Tomo. I'm actually really happy... because you're worried about me, and Professor Sakaki too. I kind of always thought, if anyone found out, they'd hate the professor or think he's awful, but you don't."

"Of course not," I hiccuped. "He's helped me... a lot. He's a good person. But..."

"But?" Yuki's voice was overly bright, trying to hide the tension I felt in his arms.

No good. He was getting the wrong idea. "But I don't know him really well, you know? He's a great coworker and he's helped me a lot, and he's a good teacher, but we're not friends or anything." I took a deep breath to steady myself. "So... it's like I'm being selfish. Because if I think about it too much, I feel like I'm just using him for support..."

"So?" Yuki squeezed me tighter. "He's an adult, Tomo. He's supposed to help you and support you. And he's assistant director, it's literally his job to help you out."

"But it still feels like I'm taking advantage." Weird how the conversation had turned from scolding Yuki to being reassured by him.

"You're wrong, Tomo." Yuki pulled back to look me in the eye. "He's happy to be helping you. He's mentioned it a few times, how you've changed and that he's proud of you for taking your job so seriously. Hasn't he said that directly to you? I can tell him to do it."

My face felt warm. "No, he's told me... it's kind of embarrassing, though."

"I don't think so. Isn't it nice to get praised by someone who isn't easily impressed?" Yuki's smile was gentle, and it made me understand that the professor was gently influencing him too. Not pushing or manipulating, but through sincere praise and appreciation for real effort. That had to be why Yuki had worked so hard to advance to more difficult classes this year: he genuinely felt like he could do it. And he had an unwavering ally who would always support him.

Yuki was oblivious to my thoughts and kept going, "Anyway, I don't think it's bad to be a little selfish in a relationship. I think we all are. I mean, people become friends or lovers because they want to have something or feel something. I feel happy when I'm hanging out with you, and it's comfortable, and I know you care about me. And you get something out of it too, so it's mutual. As long as no one's taking advantage, it's not a bad thing. I wouldn't want you to be friends with me because you felt like you had to, but you secretly hated me or something..."

"So you're saying Professor Sakaki also gets something out of helping me?"

"Of course! He gets to see you learning new things and working hard. I'm sure that as a teacher, he loves watching everyone practice their skills and become more responsible. And I think it's inspiring for him to see you doing your best even though you've been through lots of hard things. It probably makes him feel like he can do it too."

I considered it a bit, then nodded. "Yeah... I guess that makes sense."

"And it's really not your fault that you're not friends with the professor yet. I'm sure he likes you a lot, but... he doesn't open up to people, so it's hard to get to know him. If you want to get closer, you have to be kind of pushy about it."

That made me smile a little. "So I have to be more like you?"

"Well..." Yuki made a face, but he didn't deny it. "Anyway! I know he seems harsh and stuff, but the professor is actually a really gentle and sensitive person. He's been hurt, so he doesn't trust people easily. You have to make a real effort if you want to be his friend. It's even harder than it was to get close to you, Tomo, because he's been hiding himself for so long. I guess it's like... trying to get a stray cat to trust you or something. You have to be patient and you can't give up."

I don't know what prompted me to ask. Maybe it was the wistful smile on Yuki's lips or the slight narrowing of his eyes, like he was imagining something beautiful, but something made me blurt out, "Is that why you fell in love with him?"

"Huh?" Yuki blinked and refocused his eyes on me, spell broken. A blush creeped up his cheeks. "Um, well... maybe." He lowered his eyes. "He was cold and distant, but I think I could tell that he was hurting and sad. I wanted to understand him, and figure out my own feelings..."

"Yeah..."

There was a long silence. It felt a little awkward. Hadn't I come over to yell at Yuki for getting involved with the professor? My heart wasn't in it anymore. It was hard to keep telling him he was wrong when he was sitting beside me, practically glowing with selfless feelings of love, and when I knew the professor had changed for the better.

I sighed. Yuki looked up. "Tomo?"

"Nah, it's just a lot to think about, you know? I was so sure I was going to march in here and let you have it, but I can't even be mad at either of you. I still think it's dangerous and I'm worried that you're going to be found out, but... it's not like I can do anything about it." I met his eyes for an instant, looking away as a surge of jealousy tightened my chest. "You're not going to stop, and he's not hurting you. I'm just... I dunno." I shrugged.

"You're sad? Or lonely?" A warm hand touched my arm. "Tomo, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. You'll always be my best friend. I feel like we can be even closer now that I'm not trying to hide a big secret. And it's okay if you think it's a bad idea. I'm sure you're right."

I sighed again. "I mean, even if you didn't feel like waiting or whatever, what about the professor? He's the adult. He should know better."

"Please don't think he's gross, Tomo." Yuki didn't sound upset, just sad. "It was really emotional and maybe he didn't make the best decision, but I don't regret any of it, and I wouldn't change it even if I could do it over again. And..."

Another long silence. "And...?" I prompted.

"Mm... I think there's stuff about the professor you don't know yet. Have you tried asking him why he became a teacher?"

It was a pretty poor attempt at changing the subject, but I decided to go along with it. "Well, no, but he's already said it's because that's what he wanted to do."

"Yeah, but did you ask _why?_ Why a high school math teacher instead of something like a university professor or running a Sakaki Group school? You know he's really smart and could do any job he wanted, so why did he pick something so simple?"

"You mean humble," I corrected.

"Whatever. But yeah. You should ask him about it. I bet he'd tell you now."

So there was more to Professor Sakaki's story than what I'd already gathered through spending time with him? To be honest, it kind of stung. He knew everything about my past, and had known it before I'd even met him, commenting on it when we were first introduced. Well, no, that wasn't strictly true - there was plenty of stuff that he didn't know. Like that Brother had pushed me to be adopted, that I ran because of my adoptive parents, and why I'd been willing to consider sacrificing the school to protect the research data. Those were things only Yuki had been able to pull out of me, because Yuki was the only one who wasn't content to let me wallow in my misery. He'd probably been more effective than all the adults combined simply because he didn't know about Brother and all the other crap at the time. All he'd seen was that I was pulling away from everything because I'd been hurt, and he'd chased me back into the light.

I was sure he'd done the same with the professor, unable to ignore his suffering.

So both of us had opened up to Yuki. And we'd both fallen in love with him.

"Geez, Yuki," I sighed, "I'm such a jerk."

"Huh? That's not true! Why are you saying that all of a sudden?"

"Because," I grumbled, "I've been over here thinking that whoever your boyfriend is, his feelings for you can't possibly be 'pure' enough and my feelings are better. Because you saved me from myself, so I have innocent feelings of real love and gratitude, which makes them better than stuff like physical desire or whatever. But that's a bunch of crap, because I know you helped the professor in the same way, so his love is probably pretty similar to mine. And..." I looked down at my hands, shoulders hunching a bit. "Um, well... it's not like I never had lustful feelings or whatever... so I was just lying to myself in my own head to make myself feel better about it, I guess..."

Yuki was quiet beside me for a few moments. "I guess it's extra hard for you, because you still like me a little." His eyes searched my face for reactions, and I couldn't make myself turn away. He'd figure me out anyway. "And you feel like... 'maybe, if I got there first, it could have been me,' right?"

I didn't want to admit to it, but I had no choice. "Yeah. I can't really deny that."

It was Yuki's turn to look away. "Yeah. I don't know. You might be right, Tomo. But maybe not. There's no way to know." His eyes dropped shut. "I'm sorry."

"What are you saying? You don't have to be sorry. My feelings are my problem. Anyway, I'm mostly over it, and this sounds weird but it's kind of a relief that you're with someone I know. I was kind of worried that bad things were happening and you didn't see them that way, or that you'd been pressured into doing stuff you didn't really want to. I mean, it's weird to think about you and the professor together, but I trust him a lot more than a random university student."

Yuki flopped back onto the bed with a heavy sigh. "Urgh, you never said anything about worrying."

"Yeah, because I didn't want to worry you with my worrying." I poked his side and was rewarded with a squeak as he curled into a defensive ball. "And I thought I'd sound like a jealous idiot if I said anything."

Yuki rolled over to face me and stared up at my face. He looked ridiculous, all curled up like an angry pillbug and making a pouty face. "Well... yeah, that would have annoyed me."

"I knew it." I rested my elbow on my leg and plopped my chin on my hand, watching him. "Hey, I know it sucks for you but I'm kind of glad Professor Sakaki is going away for a few days. I don't think I could face him right now."

That made Yuki pout even more. "But I'm going to miss him. I don't think we've ever gone that long without seeing each other, even if it was just in class."

"Yeah, but I can't help remembering all the stuff you've been telling me about your boyfriend. Like... sex things." Damnit, was my face already getting red? "It was always a little embarrassing, but it's a _lot_ worse now that I know it's Professor Sakaki. Like... he lets you... do stuff to him."

"Hey!" Yuki punched my leg. "He doesn't 'let' me! He likes it! We're both men, you know, it's only natural to want to put it in!"

How the hell was I even having this conversation?! "But you, on top of someone like that... it kind of destroys my mental image of the professor."

"Hmph! You better not think any less of him, Tomo! He's _extra_ manly because of it!" Yuki stretched out his legs and folded his arms over his chest, eyes closed as he huffed. "Because, you have to be really secure in your manliness to do what you really want without caring what other people might think! A man does what feels good and right!"

I couldn't stifle a snort. "You sound just like Yagami."

His eyes snapped open to glare at me. "Well, maybe Yagami's right!"

I rolled my eyes. "You're _both_ idiots, then."

Whatever snappy comeback Yuki was about to fire off was drowned out by a sudden rumbling noise. He paused with his mouth open, cheeks pinking a little before he let out a nervous giggle. "Ah... oops. Sorry, it's my stomach again."

"What? No, that was _me_ this time!" I patted my stomach, which still felt a little gurgly. "I haven't had dinner yet, remember?"

Yuki looked honestly confused. "What, that was you? But it's always me..."

"Not this time." I hopped up off the bed and turned to offer my hand. "Anyway, let's go eat before the cafeteria closes. I'm so hungry I don't even care that it's going to be curry."

"Okay!" Yuki grabbed my hand and pulled himself up, his silly grin softening to a warm smile. When he was back on his feet, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and bumped his head against mine. "Tomo... thank you."

"Huh? I didn't do anything."

"Yes, you did. You're the one who pulled the fire alarm, right? I was really mad when it happened, but... you kept us from doing something stupid. It would have been bad." Yuki pulled back a little, expression unusually serious as he studied my face. "Because you're right, if anyone else had been there, it would have been a disaster. Or... you could have reported us." His eyes lowered. "Really, Tomo, thank you for coming to talk to me. Thank you for worrying about me, and caring enough to confront me about it. And thank you for worrying about the professor too. I always thought, if someone found out, they would definitely hate him and think he's an awful person..."

"Hey." I shook his shoulder. "I already told you, I don't hate the professor. I mean, it's still overwhelming and complicated and I need time to process it all, but I've been with both of you for the past year. No one's getting hurt. You're both changing, in good ways. So..."

"So...?" He was watching me with anticipation. Maybe it was shameful to admit it, but it felt good to know that Yuki wanted to earn my approval. That I was still important to him. I could affect his mood, for good or bad. But most of all, I wanted to support him, even if I was worried or didn't agree, because the proof was there in front of me: he was happy. He was safe.

_But I'm watching. And if that ever changes, there will be hell to pay. I don't think that will happen, though..._

"So... I'm happy for you. Both of you, because you're both important to me."

"Hehe, thanks. But you know what's also important to me? Food! Let's go eat! Oh, but where did I leave my socks...?"

"Geez, you're more excited to go eat than I am." I shook my head. "Anyway, speaking of food, I have an idea. I, uh, overheard that the professor is going to be away until Saturday night, so you won't go visit him until Sunday. So why don't you hang out with me this weekend?"

"Oh!" Yuki's eyes lit up. "Is Suzubishi-san going to be around, then? I love his home cooking!"

I really should have expected that sort of reaction. "No, dummy, I'm inviting myself over to the bakery! Suzubishi-san and Professor Keita are planning to go on a date Saturday night, so there's no point in hanging out at their apartment. It would be just as boring as staying here, right? I want to go to your house and say hi to your parents. And hasn't it been a while since you've seen your mom and dad? Because it sounds to me like you're with the professor every weekend..."

"Oh..." Yuki's cheeks colored a bit. "Yeah... that's true. I don't visit home very often. Even the professor is always telling me that I should spend more time with mom and dad."

"Then maybe you should listen to him. It's not good to make your mom and dad worry. I'm sure they're already sad because you're away at a boarding school and all."

"Geez, since when are you such a nag?" But Yuki was smiling as he pulled his socks on. "Okay, I'll email my dad later and tell him to make an extra big batch of everything for Saturday, so there will be lots of leftovers in the afternoon!"

"You're such a piglet," I sighed. "But... can you ask him to keep a couple of chocolate horns for me?"

~ end ~

**Author's Note:**

> Is Tomo too easy on Yuki? Ehh... probably. All his friends are, really, but since I'm here to write an idealized romance where no one is being hurt, that's how it's gonna be.


End file.
